xanthan gum

I like it much, much better. Except for chipped toenails. The image makes me cringe. I'm amazed how you transformed a poem that was moderate (okay, maybe not so good ...

I wrote about two years ago.. I don't know how it came up, honestly! So I'm not going to edit it, but I agree the word "baby" is out of ...

The revision is great, but I don't get the "aqua green" image.

I'm sorry if this came across as unclear - it was a dedication to my close friend, Kiera, who did take her life by suicide just a week ago. She ...

Jesus, and that stanza, are all about the sacrifice of anyone who is self-centered in their youth.. which is usually most adolescents. The sacrifices their families, friends and others make ...

I don't usually do posts like this -- but I loved it. I think it's the best I've read by you. Though I think the title might be better as ...

Oh, I'm really sorry, Snoink. I thought I fixed all of those. I actually noticed them, too. I must have copied the wrong version. Thanks!

*repaint , perhaps ? I love the reference to the specific colorcard 8s. It makes the adjectives vibrant. I think the last line is too long to make it climatic. ...

I love the revision of the first three lines - much clearer!

I think so such a short poem, repition should be avoided, as it only looks like it was a tool to add length. In any case, the abrupt, punchline ending ...

It's simplistic and beautiful. You're imagery is focused and perfect. I encourage you to direct this talent to unleash words you've longed to use to impact the auidence.

I love how you show all the versions so we can see the progression on this work. You're determined to perfect it. I agree with Snoink with the first line ...

ignore, please, "please ignore", perhaps, would flow off the tongue easier - that is an important aspect to this poem, correct?

Oh. Much Better.

" I don't know what"